Monday, July 25, 2011

Financial Concerns

So yesterday afternoon Polly and I exited the tent I pitched in the shadow of an old Byzantine wall with the intent to acquire sustenance.  I pawned off the last of my marble noses for a half-pound of baklava and a sack of raw fish heads, the latter of which I found particularly satisfying to the pallet.  I made the astute observation that our funds had become dangerously low, and subsequently suggested that we ought to find an immediate remedy for this economic malady.

Polly:  Allow me to interject for a moment.  No, get off me!  It's my turn at the computer!


I'd just like to say that I'm the one that had to point out our shortage of cold, hard cash.  You couldn't recognize a problem if it took off its pants and danced naked in front of you.  How have you gotten by all this time living in your bizarro, pseudo-intellectual la-la land?

Wunderbar, Polly!  Perhaps we could become street performers.  I've always thought busking had a certain anthropological appeal.

Polly:  Put your trousers back on.  There's no one on the planet that would pay to see that.  Although, I suspect someone might pay NOT to. 

That aside, Polly and I have been at a loss for what do do since yesterday.  If only we had a wealthy patron to fund our treasure-hunting expedition.

Polly:  What happened to all the cash in your retirement fund?

Most of my assets are tied up in real estate.  Er...and I also had some tax difficulties with the Greek government.

Polly:  Tax problems in Greece?  *There's* a surprise.  Fat lot of good your real estate investment does us.  Something smells funny in here, though.  Go give that bag of fish heads a once over, would ya? 

Oh, fascinating!  Explorer Polyphemus, I would like your professional opinion on my most recent archaeological find.  My trowel and I excavated a strange object from the jaws of one of these mackerel craniums.

Polly:  "Archaeological find"?  That's a Pezzo Troppo Costoso di Schifezza, you idiotone of the most expensive Italian watches on the market!  That fish must have tried to eat it.  This watch retails for over three-hundred thousand Turkish lira!  Looks a little waterlogged, though.

Homer has seen fit to smile upon me once again.  So, where shall we reconnoitre next, fellow adventurer?  Perhaps re-investigate Troy for Priam's trove?

Polly:  Well, now that we've got dinero to burn, I've always sort of wanted to travel the world.  And erm, I seem to be having a little trouble remembering where exactly I was buried at the moment.  It's right on the tip of my tongue....

No matter, my good man.  Where does your treasure-sniffing nose lead you?

Polly:  I hear they treat cats like royalty in Egypt....

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